#Bdsm kink checklist how to#

Common examples include blindfolds, handcuffs, and spanking. An inventory item is any activity, toy, or fetish that you might explore. The best BDSM limits checklists are comprehensive, which means they have A LOT of inventory items. It also supports you and your partners in making fewer assumptions about “what’s a hell yes” and what’s “a hard no.” It makes your communication proactive, rather than reactive. In this way, the limit list guides communication around sex, kink/BDSM, and other erotic play. Let’s make sure to incorporate flogging into some of our scenes.” I really enjoy topping for (giving) flogging. They might say to themselves, “Okay, Kelly Noel really likes bottoming for (receiving) flogging. On my limits list for flogging, I’ve noted that I’m a “10 out of 10” when it comes to receiving, and a “7” when it comes to giving.įrom there, my partner(s) see that I really like flogging. It’s enjoyable, it’s okay, I like it, but I don’t LOVE it. While I like flogging others, it’s not as much of a turn on for me. And vice versa.įor my part, I LOVE bottoming for flogging. Some are willing to receive (bottoming) but feel uncomfortable being the giver (top). Many people are not interested in giving and receiving all activities. There’s dedicated spots for giving and receiving. It’s also important to identify physical, emotional, and mental health issues that might affect the scenes you create. BDSM can activate (read: trigger) folx with a history of trauma, so identifying triggers in advance mitigates a lot of upset and helps the scene go well. While it’s never mandatory to fill out ALL this information, it is important to identify known and possible triggers. You can see the limits list in action towards the bottom of this blog post. Unlike most limits checklists, which have spots for basic info at the top of the limits list, I created a separate tab just for information. In the BDSM limits checklist I designed, Erotically Empowered Limits List™, I also included spots for gender pronouns, sexual orientation, Erotic Blueprint™ design, and an emergency contact. The first and absolutely most basic thing to look for (or to include) in your limits list is a spot for basic info: name, scene name, health considerations, trauma triggers. Whether you’re purchasing a pre-existing template, using one you’ve found on the internet, or creating your own, this information is invaluable. As I began introducing people to kink and BDSM, I quickly realized the best BDSM limits checklist really would have even more features.īelow, I highlight the top things to look for or include in a limits list. Then, I thought recording my interest in giving and receiving certain activities was enough.

At first, I thought it was enough that it had lots of items and was comprehensive.

#Bdsm kink checklist how to#

That’s what prompted my search for the best BDSM limits checklist available.Īt the time, I had NO idea how to initiate conversations about kink with my partner, and I also didn’t know what to look for in a limit list.

When I first started exploring kink/BDSM in 2015, I wanted to know what I enjoyed.